I love my life—even when things aren’t going exactly to plan. Saying that, 2016 really did a number on me, and as grateful as I am for all the good that it brought, I’m ready for all the bad to disappear. (Hear that cold #2? Be gone with you).
I won’t recap what 2016 decided to throw in my face (again) but I am going to give a heads up on Dollars (Dollar Series #2) and when to expect its release.
First, let me tell you what happened to me last night. I had a dream. (oh no, a dream…yes, stay with me please).
In this dream, I met some random woman and she told me to hop into this mangled old car with dents and scrapes and to drive her to a horse rally on the top of the hill. I was like…she’s polite enough, I can appease her.
I hop into the cab and start driving, only this ‘hill’ turns into a freaking cliff and we’re almost vertical. I’m freaking out thinking the car is gonna roll backward, tip backward, stall, kill all of us. I was petrified. Eventually, after what felt like FOREVER, I managed to nudge this crappy car over the ridgeline and onto horizontal ground.
Once on solid turf, the dream continued as if nothing terrifying had happened. However, it made such an impression on me the moment I woke up, I booted up my laptop and looked up: dream meaning going up a ridiculous crazy steep mountain in a car.
I used to look at my dreams a lot as a teenager. I was rather fascinated. However, life moved on and I forgot to be curious about what my subconscious may or may not be trying to say, so this was the first time in years that I wanted to know the message.
This is what Google came back with:
A huge steep hill symbolised the huge challenges that the dreamer was engaged in. He felt this was too much for him
To dream of a hill represents an obstacle in your life. A struggle to achieve a goal. The steepness of hill reflects how big the challenge is that you’re facing.
To dream of moving uphill represents your attempt to work against an obstacle. Feeling the difficulty of a situation or that something is getting harder. Feeling that a problem is too much for you. You may also be experiencing an enormous challenge or lots of pressure to meet a deadline. Fighting against the odds. A sign that you need to “tough it out.” Patience and dedication will benefit you. A challenge which requires you to try your hardest or be stubborn to overcome it. Negatively, a steep hill may reflect feelings about how an obstacle is demanding too much from you. Feeling it’s too much work to overcome a challenge that other people may not think is difficult.
It was bang on.
huge challenges that the dreamer was engaged: I’m currently drowning in phlegm and HATE it. I hate moping around and despise that when I go to work, my brain is just cotton wool and I don’t even know how to read, let alone write. (This blog post that I think is coherent is probably just a jumble of Qwerty letters and my secret will be out that I’m actually illiterate—feel like it right now).
An obstacle in your life. A struggle to achieve a goal: This is Dollars. I’m struggling as I have so many people waiting on this book and I don’t want to let them down, but at the same time I can’t rush it.
Feeling that a problem is too much for you: It’s not often that I’m overwhelmed but after my head accident, I did start to wonder if returning to horse riding was the right thing for me. I love it. But I can’t answer the question all equestrians need to be able to answer: Do I love this enough to become seriously injured and/or die for it? Honestly…I don’t know—and it’s driving me loopy trying to decide what to do which makes me feel guilty and confused and….anywho, moving on.
Negatively, a steep hill may reflect feelings about how an obstacle is demanding too much from you. Feeling it’s too much work to overcome a challenge that other people may not think is difficult: This is where I slap myself for being so weak and moaning about being ill with something so simple like a cold when others are going through so much more on a daily basis. I know I have no right to whinge about my perfect little life. However, when I’m in tears looking at my plot summary for a book that I’m dying to write but the ‘chemistry or magic’ is muted by sickness, doubt, or fear then yes, it does feel like you’re all alone. And…this is going to sound awful…but as much as I love, adore, cherish my husband, and he’s beyond supportive, when I throw my hands up and say this book sucks, I can’t do it, I’m going to cancel, yada yada yada, all I want is a ‘you can do it’ rally. Instead, he gives me a look and says ‘it’s not that hard, stop being so dramatic.’ Yes, well. IT IS HARD DANGNAMIT. (love you…)
Also, and I mean this in the most kindest, grateful way…but when I get messages from readers telling me they’ll never read me again because I haven’t set a date for Dollars release yet, or that I’m taking FAR too long and that it’s super inconsiderate, or just plain yell at me through messenger and demand to know where the book is—that’s hard too. I get that waiting for something is super frustrating but at the same time, so is receiving something that’s rushed, crap, and plain awful. (plus, Pennies only came out in end of July, and I released Can’t Touch This merely 6-7 weeks ago). It’s not a year like we used to have to wait from publishers).
However, for every email I get telling me off, I get five messages saying to take my time, enquiring how I am, and generally being a nice human being. Thank you to YOU if you’re one of those people. Your messages mean more to me than you know. Hearing that you’re willing to be patient for me to deliver a book that is worthy of your time and money takes a little bit of that stress away and lets me not worry about tipping backward on this crazy steep hill I’m currently navigating.
Now that I’ve probably terrified you that I’m going to push Dollars back a year (I’m not, don’t worry), I’ll come out and spit out a date.
And no, I’m not saying what date in November until the book is 100% written (for reasons I just mentioned: disappointment, witch-hunt, and me not trusting life not to throw me another curve ball).
*ducks for cover
The reason for this is:
- The book is almost written. However, I’m an author that writes a first draft very quickly, then I go back over it 5 to 6 times, adding in layers of character development, dialogue, chemistry, and future plot teasers. If I didn’t do this, the book would be flat and one dimensional and you’d hate me.
- Once the plot is done, then I need a few trusted Beta Readers to tell me if it’s crap and a bunch of Qwerty letters smushed together or worthy of being published.
- Once I’m satisfied I’m not going to be releasing said crap, I send to my editor to delete those pesky typos.
- Once that’s done, I run another editing program on my end, format and send the ARC to bloggers so they can have a head start on reading so they can provide reviews.
- Once that’s done, I re-format and press publish.
Each of those stages takes time and is reliant on other people who may or may not be going through their own problems currently. If I wasn’t sick as a dog and didn’t want beta readers or an editor, I could release dollars by the end of October (so I didn’t fib when I said that was a possibility—and it would’ve been possible if I didn’t catch a cold, then crack open my skull, then catch another cold). Life likes playing silly little games.
All I’m doing is pushing the book back a few weeks so I can be proud when I press publish and don’t feel guilty when you pay me to read it. Is that okay?
Hope so. xxx
If you actually read my random rant above, then you’ll already catch my drift of what this blog post was about. If you didn’t and want the abbreviated notes, here you go:
- I’m sick. Blah, blah, boo, boo.
- Dollars is going to be a few weeks late.
- Aiming for mid-November release (and to be honest, there are so many awesome books out there the time will fly by).
- I like messages from kind people.
- I don’t like messages yelling at me.
- The end.
HAVE A GREAT DAY EVERYONE!
I’m about to pop some cold and flu meds, drive over to my horse’s land and sit in the sunshine with my snotty nose and WRITE ALL THE WORDZ. Hope you have a awesome afternoon/ night planned too. X
AND THANK YOU FOR UNDERSTANDING & BEING PATIENT & AMAZING